Excerpts from letters and notes:

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Jillian Gage: One of Nicholas's twenty-six cousins. In 1999 Jillian was 12 year old.

Jason Borsdorf: A Cousin, age 20

Bridget Borsdorf: A cousin, age 18 and the sister to Jason.

Mike Johnston: A friend since grade school.

Kate Johnston Vaughan: Kate is the sister of Mike Johnston.

Phyllis Johnston: The Mother of Mike and Kate.

Maria Katsimpalis (Calliss): A high school friend.

Ken Hett: A high school friend.

Kara Hett: Sister of Ken Hett.

Krista Kail: A high school friend.

Brian Bockler: A high school friend.

Mike Schauerte: A childhood friend who lives in Japan.

Todd Baumgartner: A Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity Brother.

Bruce Comiskey: A Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity Brother.

David Coho: A Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity Brother.

Dawn Hamman: Nicholas's first job after college was at OSF as a Physician Recruiter, and Dawn was his manager.

Mary Kelley: Mary is the manager of Auditory in Peoria where Nicholas worked part time. Mary and Walter have worked together for over twelve years.

Rich Gallun: A friend at Sachs

Michael Sachs: President of Sachs

Patrick McGarrity: A friend at Sachs

Colleen Cosgrove: A friend at Sachs and SCP

Chris Bahr: A friend at Paine Webber

Henry S. Bienen: President of Northwestern University.

Karen L. Cates, Ph.D.: Professor of Organization Behavior at NU. Nicholas had just finished the class.

Heather Daas: A student in the Organization Behavior Class at NU with Nicholas.

Stephanie Deiters: A friend since grade school and the funeral director.

Margie Lyons: A friend of the family and has a daughter that was in grade and high school with Nicholas.


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Jillian Gage

I'm incredibly sorry for what has happened to Big Nick. Everyone loved him so much. We all miss him. But I know that you two & Gabrielle will miss him the most.

On the way home from church Aunt Ann, Mom, Em, Sam, and I were discussing about how Big Nick and Sherrie would get married. When we got home Dad told us. We all broke down in tears. I can't believe this happened.

I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. Everybody's loss. I think I speak for everyone when I say I miss him and won't get over this for a long, long time.

Love,

Jillian


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Jason Borsdorf

Some of my earliest childhood memories are of "Big Nick" at Grandma and Grandpa's farm. A visit from Nick produced a level of excitement for me at the age of five, only rivaled by Christmas morning and my Birthday. As I became older I regarded Nick as a role model, someone I wanted to emulate, someone who had everything going for them with numerous admirable qualities. It was with deep regret that I missed Nick's funeral, regret made all the harder to swallow by the way Nick used to make time for me at family events. Even though I'm sure he found the adults much more interesting than someone seven years his junior, he never let on. As bad as I feel about missing the funeral, I feel even worse about letting so much time go by without seeing him. I always assumed there would be another day and another opportunity. If this had happened to anyone it would be tragic, but for this to happen to a human being of Nick's caliber makes it disastrously sad beyond words. I never would of thought that behind those bright eyes and confident smile there was so much sadness. In my most enduring memories of Nick he is always smiling.

I just wanted to write and tell you how sorry I am that I wasn't there for the funeral. I certainly owed it to Nick. More so, though, I wanted to tell you how much he will be missed and how much I wish I would of had an opportunity to see him more recently.

Jason Borsdorf


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Bridget Borsdorf

I am sorry that I could not attend the funeral for "Big Nick." I can't even imagine the pain that is aching in your heart right now. Many other people are having the same pain in their heart, including me. I can still vividly picture Christmas time when all the little kids would be running around, and we couldn't wait until we were as old as Nick. He was talked to and treated like an adult. He was a role model to all of us, and he will always be remembered in my heart and I am sure everyone else's too. I would like to share a poem with you that will help you through this pain.

Terrified Tears

The face of an angel is all that is here,

One beautiful freckle equals one terrified tear.

Not ready to leave but has to go,

Wants to go back but God says no.

Leaving your life is a scary thought.

I guess it's something that can't be fought.

A mother, a father, a sister, and friends.

A meaningful life that suddenly ends.

An angel is what he was meant to be,

Now just think of all he can see.

Looking over his family night and day,

Saying I love you in his own special way.

In the night we sleep, in the day we cry.

He watches us all from his star in the sky.

~Lyndsie Chlowitz

Nick's good heart, benevolent personality, and mostly his cheering laugh, will never be forgotten. He will always remain in our hearts. We know he is in a better place, where he will be able to watch over all of us, and have God take care of him.

Sincerely,

Bridget Borsdorf


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Mike Johnston

I thought I would take a few moments and write a short note. I will spare you the arduous task of trying to decipher my awful penmanship. I hope that every day that goes by, you start to feel a little better. Nothing can replace the loss of a child, but as time passes, perhaps the tears will dry and a smile will return as you reflect on the many joyous moments Nick gave. As I go through my pictures and recollections, I can't help but laugh at all of the good times we had. Nick was one in a million and I feel extremely fortunate that he was my best friend. The memory of him will never leave me. I still don't fully understand why he did it but I guess I never will. Evidently, the anxiety he felt was too great. I only wish I saw the signs and was able to help. He was always there for me and I wish I could have been there for him.

I enjoyed very much spending time with you. I didn't realize that room ( the living room, the boys were always in the family room) was actually used! The stories were great and I felt honored to be on the receiving end of so many personal experiences. By telling stories and reliving times long gone, it helps to overcome the incredible sadness that you feel. I wish there were something that I could do to help you. I hope you realize that I think of you as family and I hope we will always stay in touch.

Love,

Mike Johnston


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Kate Johnston Vaughan

It is with a heavy heart that I am writing you this letter. I have taken Nick's death rather hard and I apologize that it has taken me so long to express my condolences. I cannot fathom what it is like to lose a son but I hope to give you some comfort by sharing how Nick touched my life in such a special way.

With my parents both working and my father's health condition, my siblings and I grew up close, especially Mike and I. Through grade school, high school, and early adult years (before jobs and marriage made sharing in daily life hard) Mike and I supported and shared so much including school, sports, and friends. His friends were and still are special guys to me. However, Nick stood apart from all of them. He was my brother's best friend and to me, my other brother.

Growing up is hard and Nick made Mike's life richer by being there to share his joys and disappointments as only a best friend can. I know Mike needed that and I'll be forever grateful to Nick for that. But Nick was special to me too. He brought so much laughter and joy to my everyday life. When Nick walked into a room, he brought sunshine and laughter abounded. He was able to size up any given situation and find the humor in it. Even now when I close my eyes I can picture Nick with the biggest grin and hear his laughter.

However, there was one time in my life when I felt even more blessed to have Nick in my life. I had surgery on my neck when I was 20. Being 20, my main concern was my looks and not the seriousness of my condition. I could barely walk but I was so depressed because my head was shaved. Nick and Mike were able to help me through that painful time by being themselves and helping the best way they could - with laughter. They would take me walking around the neighborhood just cutting jokes to try to get me to see how silly I was acting. We would be walking, both holding onto an arm, and laughing. "Hey Kate, we forgot our sunglasses. Your bald head is blinding us." "Hey Kate, did you see the car wreck? They stopped to stare at you!" "Hey Kate, we're nominating you for President of the Zippernecks!" They were able to get me to laugh at myself which helped me to heal. And when my hair started to grow again, Nick was there with the styling tips. But he was also there to tell me I was doing good, looking good, and that he was proud of me.

I was devastated that I couldn't come home for the funeral. My thoughts and prayers were there though. And even though I am miles away, I too feel the pain and sorrow of losing Nick. Mike has sent me Bob Kime's speech and has given me the web site on Nick, which I have visited. Nick is gone now to heaven but I will always miss and love him and will always treasure my memories of Nick, my other brother.

I am not sure when I will be home again. But when I do return, I will stop by. And I will be by to visit Nick's grave.

With Deepest Sympathy

Kate Johnston Vaughan


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Phyllis Johnston

This note is stained with the tears of my pain. The world lost a young man who made it better just by being in it, my son lost the one person whom he trusted with his complete self, and you lost a son who was your life. I know he was your life, just as my son is my life and was that of my husband. Nick was important to all my family and we will miss him. Mike will feel his loss all his life and though the pain may diminish, his need for Nick's presence will be an ever-present ache. If there is solace in knowing Nick was special and important to many people and that they will find the emptiness he leaves so hard to face, then have comfort, because the Johnston family truly shares your grief.

My prayers are for Nick to have the peace he sought and for you to be thankful for the gift of Nick for as long as he was here.

Love,

Phyllis Johnston


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Maria Katsimpalis (Calliss)

I really don't know where to begin. This has got to be the most difficult letter I have ever written. I'm not sure how to tell you how sorry I am for your loss; other than...I am so sorry. I also need to apologize for my absence last week, unfortunately circumstances wouldn't allow me to get home. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

I never thought anything like this could happen to any of my friends or their families. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Even though it has been a long time since I last saw or spoke with Nick, I feel an emptiness in my heart with this tragedy. It all seems unreal to me. I almost feel as if I've seen a really horrible movie and have been talking with everyone who has seen the same movie.

Nick was such the "all-American kid", loved by everyone. Between Nick and Mike Johnston, I'm not sure who smiled the most or told the stupidest jokes to make everyone else smile. I loved Nick for that. I always felt that Nick would be the one person to really do something in life, and he has. He has accomplished so much in his 30 years - success in the working world, community service, hundreds of friends that looked up to him and loved him. Nick was a really special person who would go out of his way to make others feel special as well. My brother, Billy, mentioned to me the other night that Nick was truly the only friend of mine whom he really felt a connection with. Nick really took the time to get to know my younger brother, and Billy looked to Nick as a role model. I also love Nick for that. Billy has mentioned to me about recent occasions they have had lunch together in Chicago or hung out at parties.

I'm truly going to miss Nick. He always made me laugh - even if it was at myself. Seriously - he is such a great guy - I couldn't ask for a better pal! Nick has touched so many people, you should be very proud! I'm just grateful to have had the opportunity to meet such a nice guy and honored to call Nick my friend.

I remember a silly quote from one of my favorite movies, about a person named Nick. I always held a connection with this part in the movie and my friend Nick. The quote states how Nick is your "buddy & pal." How "Nick is the kind of guy you can drink beer with and the kind of guy who won't mind if you puke in his car." I know it's silly and juvenile, but it has always made me laugh. I want to remember Nick and always smile. I really have some great memories.

Again, I am so sorry for all the pain you must be going through. I know this is a most difficult time for you now, and I hope and pray you will, with the support of your friends, soon find comfort and peace.

I'm really gonna miss Nick.

Take care of yourselves.

Sincerely,

Maria (Calliss) Katsimpalis


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Ken Hett

This is without a doubt probably the hardest letter I've ever had to write. I've not too proudly put it off for the last 2-3 days hoping some words would come to me but, just as I thought, the only 2 words that are most common but so simple are I'm sorry! I know there really is nothing that can be said to ease the pain but somehow just knowing so many people care might hopefully provide a little comfort. Even though I'm at a loss for words now, I've had quite the lengthy conversations in prayer at night talking with the Lord and have included you in all my prayers! I'm sorry that I couldn't make it up to Illinois the last couple of days but know my heart and prayers were there strongly. Nick was and is still one hell of a good friend and I know he'll be missed greatly. I'm happy that I've so many good memories of him along with some pretty good pictures too. I've never seen anybody else smile like him! Please take care up there and know my thoughts are with you.

God Bless,

Ken Hett


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Kara Hett

Ken told us of Nick's death and we wanted you to know our thoughts and prayers are with you. The last time we saw Nick was at the engagement party we gave for Ken back in the Spring of 97. We will remember his sweet smile and extreme politeness. Ken was always quite fond of Nick.

Karen and Robert Hett


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Krista Kail

There are no words to say to let you know how saddened I was to learn of Nick's death. I went to high school with him and I always liked him - he was such a nice guy. Always smiling. That's what I'll remember Nick most as - smiling. Seemed like he always had a twinkle in his eyes. Rest assured he was a very well liked individual. Very polite - a definite reflection on both of you.

Enclosed is a check for either one of his memorials or if you'd like for a mass intention at St. Pat's.

My mom (Mary Kail) sent the article not knowing that I knew Nick.

Your family is in my prayers and I know now God is looking after Nick.

God Bless -

Sincerely,

Kriste Kail


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Brian Bockler

I took out my high school yearbook last night and showed my wife a picture of Nick. I told her of all the memories I have of growing up with Nick and playing football with him in high school. I will always have these great memories to remember him by.

You are in our prayers.

Brian & Tina Bockler


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Mike Schauerte:

My mom told me the news about Nick several days ago. I couldn't believe it, and I still can't. I certainly can't believe that I am writing this letter.

I found a letter that Nick sent me in January 1996. He was congratulating me on my upcoming wedding. He also told me that he was interested in learning more about Japan. He said that he was thinking about visiting Japan in the following year. I remember how great it was to hear from Nick out of the blue. I wish that I could have shown him around the country.

Of course there are a lot of things I wish for and regret now. I especially regret not looking Nick up the last time I was home. I guess I took a friend for granted. I don't understand it myself but it seems like the result of some silly shyness I have.

This is really a shame because I enjoyed talking with Nick so much. Even after not seeing him for several years it always seemed as if we had just bumped into each other at Newman or something.

I still feel like I will run into Nick or hear from him out of the blue. I feel like we have a lot of catching up to do.

This letter is just my attempt to express my deepest condolences and let you know how much I miss Nick.

Mike Schauerte


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Todd Baumgartner

My name is Todd Baumgartner and I pledged Phi Kappa Psi with Nick at Miami. I would like to share my deepest condolences with you. Nick's gentle manner, kind words, and acts of friendship will always be remembered by his friends. Nick had a special impact on so many of his friends, always asking how we were and having a genuine interest in our lives and happiness. I truly am a better man for knowing him. I know these words can't take away your pain but I hope you will find some comfort in knowing how far reaching Nick's positive influence is.

God Bless,

Todd Baumgartner


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Bruce Comiskey

I cannot possibly understand the pain you are now feeling. I am a member of Phi Kappa Psi and I both honored and respected Nick. He was a good person and a great friend. When I heard the news I ravaged through a box of old pictures and the best I found (although not that great) is enclosed. I took this picture in the fall of 1990. This was our celebration after a third consecutive Greek Week Championship. This is how I will remember Nick, always in the center of the action and always someone you could count on. My deepest regrets.

God Bless,

Bruce Comiskey


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David Coho

Nick was a fraternity brother that I looked up to, respected, and admired. He had a warm and understanding way about himself. When I think of Nick, I see and always remember his Award Winning Smile.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

David & Allison Coho


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Dawn Hamman

I had a wonderful gift--a year with Nicholas, when we enjoyed jokes, antics of all kinds, many laughs and some hard work. I can close my eyes and hear his laugh--always contagious and often heard throughout the day.

There were those days when paper airplanes would come sailing into my cube. These contained private jokes we shared about doctors we were recruiting or office gossip. He so loved to tease and it was always so hilarious.

And always, the endless questions! He challenged me to the depths of my knowledge about everything, until I felt exhausted, but always in awe of the wonderful intellect that made him ever- hungry to learn.

How he could work! I remember that he set a goal to call every physician who was listed in the American Academy of Family Practice directory. It was about three inches thick, but he didn't stop until he could present me with a book with every name checked. I wish I could have convinced him to become a recruiter.

Who could resist loving the young man with handsome good looks, a wonderful sense of humor, fabulous personality and quick intellect? Certainly not me, for I grew more attached to him every day I knew him. Since then, I would look forward to his phone calls, when he need not identify himself, but would jump right in with a funny account of something going on in his life. Not too long ago he laughed and told me there was finally going to be a wedding.

I cannot imagine the grief you must be feeling to lose this wonderful son. You must have thousands of great stories of family fun, which I hope will sustain you in the weeks to come. I thank you for the time that I was able to share with Nicholas; he will be in my heart always.

Love,

Dawn Hamman


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Mary Kelley

The overwhelming outpouring of care and concern for you in your time of loss speaks volumes. You are such rare souls in that even at a time where it should be all be about you and your pain, you continued to tend to the needs of others by making sure that all were comforted by loving memories that had to have been very painful for you to provide. The keepsakes and pictures shared at the visitation helped others in the celebration of Nick's life. It was so like the two of you to do something so thoughtful.

On Monday, when I shared your loss with our staff, I was so moved by the response. The reaction was one of genuine concern. As a group we do an excellent job of working things out. This time was different. An integral part of our group was missing and we found ourselves at a total loss.

Dawn Hamman said such beautiful things about Nick. I was glad to learn she expressed her thoughts in writing as well. Kimberly deeply regretted not being able to attend services, as she was out of town on business. Mary Leone Ferrara phoned to express her condolences. When I spoke with Laura Greer, she said "Give Walter a big hug for me." Dr. Bob Benningfield phoned expressing his sympathy. In talking with Lonnie Stewart he said "Give them my love and tell them they are in my prayers." Kelly Powers Wiley and I have been communicating via e-mail ad she will be phoning you this weekend. I was finally able to reach Geri Morris Thursday A.M. She would have been here for services had I been able to contact her in time. Troy Schmick said "Please extend out deepest sympathy to Walter and Joan. We are really sorry for their loss." Pauline Griffin will continue to pray for you and your family. Angela Schmechel phoned to express her sympathy. Karen Luerssen expressed her regrets in an e-mail (she learned from Stan). Most of the people I spoke with were planning to attend services and were thus able to express their feeling personally.

I was so touched by the messages shared by Sherrie and Nick's friends. They so beautifully conveyed the part of Nick that he shared with others. In closing, please let us help you heal - we care - we are here for you.

Mary Kelley


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Rich Gallun

I just wanted to write to express my sympathies. This whole thing has been quite a shock - I cherished Nick's friendship and I will miss him.

He had a rare ability to connect with me, as he did with all sorts of people. He was a friend that I always wanted around - he always added to the mix in a group, and he was so supportive as a friend. You as parents ought to be very proud of what a wonderful guy Nick turned out to be.

And that's just on a personal level.

On a business level, I had such high hopes for Nick. With his people skills, his intelligence, and his cheerful yet relentless determination, I saw limitless potential.

Having worked with Nick before, I wanted him back on my team again. Having recently joined Platinum Health Care (Michael Sachs' new company), I thought Nick was just what we needed to get this new venture going.

I have enclosed a copy of one of the recommendations I wrote for Nick for business school. I very much enjoyed writing these for Nick - they were heartfelt and sincere.

I recognize that this has to be a very difficult time for you and your family, but I thought this might be a small way to remember Nick and to celebrate his unique "wonderfulness."

My deepest sympathy,

Rich Gallun, Jr.


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Michael Sachs

I want to express my sincere condolences on your loss of Nick. As I am sure many have said to you over the past two weeks, Nick was a great person. He was dedicated to his work and his friends and was a real star. His efforts at Sachs Group were a big part of our success. He was a leader in getting our staff involved in his outreach activities.

I had a lot of respect for Nick and when he worked with Rich Gallun, they were a great pair. As you may or may not have known, we were trying to get Nick to join us at one of our new ventures, Platinum Health Care. I was excited about the opportunity to work with Nick again.

I know how difficult it is to lose a child. We lost an infant and the pain is great. However, Nick touched so many lives in such a warm and wonderful way. Your parenting benefited so many.

We are thankful that we had the opportunity to know Nick and experience his warmth and humor.

Our thoughts are with you.

Michael Sachs


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Patrick McGarrity

I want to share with you a memory that I have of Nick. With so many things to do in our wonderful city of Chicago, somehow we ended up at a "local" tavern. (Local to Nick meant a 1-block radius from 2610 N. Orchard.) A game of pool would ensue eventually. Nick wasn't the greatest pool player, but he held his own. Looking back, I realize why the game of angles, geometry, and spin wasn't his forte. He always went for the side pocket, the most difficult hole to sink a ball into. Nick did this so much that he would welcome the challenge of a side shot when there was a perfectly easy corner shot. We would even place bets as he lined up the cue. His success won him cab fares home. To this day, we say, "You're going to go for a Ruppman" when someone lines up a side shot. David Vanderport and I, on the day of Nick's Funeral, played an entire game of pool in Nick's honor where we could only hit balls into the side pockets. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Patrick McGarrity


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Colleen Cosgrove

My thoughts and prayers remain with your family, Sherrie and Nick - Nick will surely be missed, and will always be loved.

I had the pleasure of knowing Nick as both colleague (Sachs and Scp) and friend - of the truest kind. And I cannot help but smile when I think of Nick's generous nature and warm disposition. While there may be no consolation for what might have been, there is joy for what is. Nick's legacy is bountiful - his laughter. His exemplary relationships with family and friends. His compassion for others. And his faith. May god provide us all with the answers which Nick released to the powers that be.

Peace be with you.

Colleen Cosgrove


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Chris Bahr

I am deeply saddened by the passing of your son Nick. I had the pleasure of working with Nick over the past year, and I can only say that your loss is also felt by me. Nick's contagious smile and friendly "How are you?" will be missed. Unfortunately I can only offer you my sincerest condolences during this difficult time and the prayers of my wife and myself are with you, your family, and Nick. I was blessed to have known your son and will remember him with the fondest thoughts.

Sincerely,

Chris Bahr


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Henry S. Bienen

I am aware that this is a difficult time for you. The loss of a son is so very difficult to bear. The University community joins me in extending our condolences to you and members of your family during this very difficult time. My hope for both of you is that when this period of intense grief eases, that you will be able to focus on the time of joy that you shared with Nick.

Sincerely,

Henry S. Bienen

President, Northwestern University


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Karen L. Cates, Ph.D.

I have enclosed a copy of the project that Nick and his group completed in my course this summer. His group named themselves "A Band Apart", and focused their efforts on diagnosing the problems inherent in the registration process at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. The group made fine recommendations for change, and I understand that one member will soon present their findings to the Hospital.

The project received a high "A" reflecting not only the skill and intellect of each group member, but also the dynamic nature of their work together. Group members commented consistently at how much greater the whole of their effort was over the sum of its parts.

I send this to you to read and to keep as part of your memory of Nick. The project reflects the excellent quality of his student life at Kellogg. While I do not know the circumstances of his death, I do know that losing him was a great shock. I send my heartfelt condolences and my sincerest wishes that you find strength in your love and memory for him.

Very sincerely yours,

Karen Cates, Ph.D.

Professor of Organization Behavior

Kellogg Graduate School of Management


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Heather Daas

I apologize for the delay of this card, as I was just able to secure your address from Nick's friends this past week. Nick and I worked on a group project together this past summer as part of our studies at Kellogg. I wanted to write and let you know how devastated our team members and I were about Nick's death, and how much our hearts go out to you, Sherrie, and your family. Nick was a very generous person. Though I only had the opportunity to get to know him over the summer, I was immediately struck by his friendliness, outgoing nature, and great sense of humor. Nick was extremely involved with our project and very enthusiastic about doing the right thing for the hospital where I work. As you probably know Nick was with us for 9 hours the Saturday before he died. Even then he was keeping the peace and kept talking about having dinner with you and Sherrie. I am so very sorry that he hid his pain from those who cared and loved him. Nick and I also found out that we went to the same church, St. Clements, and we shared our experiences with their liturgy.

I know you know how wonderful your son was. Again - you and your family are in my prayers. There is no recipe for this type of loss, so I wish you peace.

Heather Daas


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Stephanie Deiters

On Sunday afternoon, August 23,1999, the phone of our funeral home rang. When Gary answered, I could hear concern in his voice, business like, the way I had heard him take a call so many times before, except, I somehow sensed by the look on his face that this call was in someway different.

I heard him reply, "Joan", and my heart sank. Walter, I though, an accident, heart attack, what? Then I heard the word, "Chicago", and the reality hit, NICK.

How? Why? So many questions. Many of which, we will never have answers to.

NICHOLAS RUPPMAN - A frined I have know all of my school years. My first memory of our mothers as room mothers together in Mrs. Hickams first grade class at Washington Grade. Then, progressing through the years together. We shared many friends in high school, integrating many from the other grade schools in town. Nick was fun, witty, good looking, athletic, popular, smart, and had a smile that could light the room. I was always proud to call him my friend. He was the type of guy any girl would be proud to take home to her parents. Possessing good manners, he had the highest of respect for his parents, and most of all was just fun to be around. After high school, we didn't see each other but a couple of times. Both going our separate ways, I would inquire about him from his parents and friends.

As a funeral director, I must wear many hats. The hat of that week in August, was that of a friend. It was for me, the most difficult service I have ever done. When coming home to Washington, and deciding to build our own funeral home, I thought I would bury my friend's grandparents or perhaps parents, but I really had not considered burying my friends.

Although difficult, I am so very thankful for the opportunity to support and help Nick's family in any way possible. For me, this validates that I am in the right place, fulfilling my purpose.

Purpose, we all need a purpose.

May God grant you eternal purpose, my friend.

Stephanie A. Deiters


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Margie Lyons

Daily, you are in my thought and prayers. For many years now, since I've become older & wiser, a verse in the Bible sustains me - "All things work for good, for those who trust in the Lord." As someone who isn't always sure of the definition of 'The Lord,' I sometimes substitute the word 'Life.' But Nick's death - I could not imagine - it made me question my belief.

Then, the week after the funeral, I received a call from a very distraught mother, very concerned about her 17 year old daughter - beautiful, an A student, cheerful to her many friends, a cheerleader - who every morning cried for hours and also had severe stomach pain - all physical tests negative. This had been going on for several years.

The priest's words at the funeral helped me to understand beyond the theory, which I already knew. When this mother called, I talked to her very differently than I would have a few weeks earlier. I quickly arranged for her to see our best adolescent counselor and then (without revealing names), I shared Nick's story with the counselor, using the metaphors that the priest had used.

Of course, it is too soon to know the outcome for this girl, but as a professional who deals with children, adolescents, and young adults, I have changed.

I grieve for both of you and for Gabrielle, and for Nick and his fiancée, and for the world, for it seems the world was a better place because Nick was here. I still believe that all things work for good if we can have the patience and faith to wait for the answers.

I wish with all my heart that you would have been spared this loss.

Love,

Margie Lyons


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